Parenthood is not a Democracy

There is no Bill of Rights for toddlers. Your job is to with great love and patience turn them into civillized (and hopefully productive) members of society. To optimize chances of success, be strong, be courageous, and abide by these guidelines...

1) You are the Mommy, you set the rules.
2) “Because I said so” is a perfectly acceptable answer to “why can’t I a) jump on the couch b) have another juice box or c) any other time your child questions a rule.
3) My house, my rules” is also acceptable.
4) “This is not a popularity contest. You are not here to be your child’s friend, but to raise them as a caring, law abiding, and hopefully productive member of society.
5) Socialization of children is not always pretty or pleasant, but it is necessary.
6) Your child understands much more, much earlier than you realize. Starting at about 10 months use the word “no” followed by action- remove the child from the outlet cord, doorknob stopper, etc.
7) Children are opportunistic. This is dangerous in two ways.
a. Temper tantrums and bad behavior ALWAYS occur in front of other people or in Target when you really don’t want to leave your shopping cart full of necessities.
b. If you are on the phone & your child is not pestering you, it is because they are up to no good. This usually involves toilet paper, water, or crayons.