Introduction to Life as a Road Warrior Wife...

Pat Benatar said it best… “Shooting at the walls of heartache… bang, bang, I am the Warrior…”

I am the wife of a road warrior. I have two young children and you know who I am. I am the Mom you see who is there at kindergarten graduation alone. I come to birthday parties alone. I am the laundress, chef, boo-boo fixer, mechanic, chaser of nightmares at 3 a.m., and handywoman extraordinaire.

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There are times when you will hate him. Absolutely despise him. When both kids are throwing up all night and you are the only one there to take care of them, wondering how on earth you will take care of your children if you too get sick. When you are the only married Mom at kindergarten graduation without their spouse present. When the handyman declares the backed up toilet ”shot” and you have no idea if you really need a new toilet, where to get a new toilet, and how much labor should cost for installation. And there will be times when you hate yourself as well. Hate yourself for being yelling at the kids after being a solo parent for too many days in a row. Hate yourself for wishing your husband had a boring 9 to 5 job even though he would be miserable. And hate yourself for dreaming of going back to work just to escape from the constant neediness of your children.

But he is your spouse and in addition to all that “for better or worse” stuff in your wedding vows, it doesn’t have to be miserable having a road warrior husband. So c’mon, do you wanna stand there bitching, or do you wanna have some fun???

Here are the facts. The global economy is not going away, ergo, people must travel both domestically and internationally. I know these facts all too well. Not only has my husband been one of these statistics for the past five years while I hold down the fort with our two small children, I used to be a statistic too. For ten years I traveled for my sales job all over different parts of the country. I drove hours to small towns no one has ever heard of (ever been to Bamberg,SC?), held Platinum airline and hotel status, and once was so travel weary that I returned my rental car to the wrong airport in South Florida. So listen to me on this first very important rule. This is an essential key to your happiness: It is true what your husband says: WORK TRAVEL IS NOT GLAMOROUS.

So what IS the key to happiness as a single but married Mom?

Revel in the ability of being able to leave the house a complete disaster. No one but you will care if the dishes aren’t done before you scoot out the door for the carpool line. No one but you will care if the clothes have been washed and folded for four days but you just haven’t managed to put them away.

On extended travel weeks, always get a babysitter on the third day. By then the kids are driving you crazy, you are driving them crazy, and a change of scenery will do you both good

Be strong. Don’t surrender to the temptation to eat cereal every night. I know small children prefer bland and boring, but you deserve better!

Murphy's law states: “all hell will break loose” the second your husband walks out the door. Know this and accept it.

Have a dependable handyman. I know, I know, that is the equivalent to finding a forty year old man that is single, never been married, well-rounded, and straight. Once you find a dependable handyman, flatter him shamelessly and bake him cookies often. Trust me, there will be a time when your dishwasher/ washing machine/ and garage door all go on the fritz at the same time and your investment will be well repaid.

Always have a Plan B. Learn basic handywoman skills.

Extend your family, particularly if you have no other family in close proximity. Invite friends over for dinner often. Loneliness is the hardest part of having a travelling spouse .

Know there are missing chapters from the parenting handbook- i.e. “what do I do when my newly pottery trained two year old starts chanting “poopie, poopie” while in the bathtub with his sister. Sitting there, in the tub is a poop bigger than his brain. How ARE you supposed to scoop that poop out and is soap sufficient to wash the kids of?? Can you just run the toys through the dishwasher or should they all be burned to excise the memory??

Travelling husbands are a blessing. It is important to know that even if your husband were home, he would have been even more clueless than you on how to handle the poop AND you would have been irritated that he was of no assistance.