In my Next Life, I want to come back as a Man.

It's true. 110% true. I want to blithely navigate through parenthood. I want my wife to oversee pediatrician appointments, playdates with friends that are "good" influences, and find creative lunches that are nutritious AND acceptable to five year olds. Wouldn't it be great if someone else had to be the bad guy that said "No Hannah Montana, and absolutely no Suite Life of Zack and Cody. (In case you are wondering why they are taboo in my house, sit down and actually watch the shows. Every parent on these tv shows is an idiot, and every child has a sassy mouth.) Don't get me wrong, I adore being a Mom (and a woman too for that matter.) I love the confidence my children have in my ability to fix anything from a boo-boo to a broken Tonka truck, all with the magic of my trusty glue gun. I don't love it when my children have nightmares, but a part of my heart melts when they cry "mama, I want my mama!" at 3 a.m. I don't have to worry about teaching my three year old son how to be "tough. " I don't stress when that same three year old runs around singing " Nobody's perfect, I gotta work it" at the top of his lungs in a sparkly princess tiara. (And yes, that song is by Hannah Montana. I allow the song, not the show. Fortunately Miley Cyrus has yet to backtalk in a song. Yet.)

Are you wondering why, then, I want to be a man in my next life? None of you know me or my husband. I am being truthful and honest when I say I married a wonderful husband and father. He's not some jerk sitting on the couch watching t.v. all Sunday while I watch the kids. He gives the kids baths, he reads them books, and he spends time playing with them. But, he is still a man. Ultimately someone in the family has to be responsible for running the household. I want to be irresponsible. I want to be the "fun parent." I want someone else to prompt the annual hanging of the Christmas decorations. I want to sit back and wait for someone else to create the "honey do list" instead of creating multiple to do lists of my own every week. I want someone else to worry about the environment and whether or not BPA in plastics is killing us, or if it's part of a conspiracy theory. And most of all, I want to let go of Mommy guilt, worry less about what's for dinner, and enjoy my kids more often. I never heard of a man talk about "daddy guilt." Or maybe it's just the guilt I want to get rid of.